Stop “Should-ing” on yourself

Reposted from the Ladies of Wealth Blog

We need to learn to stop "SHOULD-ING" all over ourselves

I should've got him to the doctor at the first sign of a virus

I should've paid more attention to my kids than my career

I should've listen to my gut instead of the daycare provider who insisted it's just a cold all the kids get them all the time (only to find out her daughter had untreated RSV for months and gave it to most of the class)

Then maybe my baby wouldn't have needed morning and nightly breathing treatments from age 1 to 5

And maybe he wouldn't still need breathing treatments most nights during spring

And maybe he'd be stronger and faster and more built like his brother

Or maybe not

I could've gone to the doctor earlier, and nothing change. Or, some other struggle might've come our way

You see, it's a devious cultural tendency we (especially American Mamas) have to second-guess our decisions and circumstances and take full blame for things we actually have no control over

Which leads to anxiety and stress

Worry and analysis paralysis

If we're not careful, the fear of messing up and making a mistake can spill over into the rest of our life causing us to let go of control over the things we CAN control

I'll never know if I could've done anything to prevent Cubbie acquiring RSV or if going into the doctor sooner would've meant he wouldn't have (what I hope WON'T be) a lifetime of breathing issues

What I do know is that despite everyone around me (including his doctor) telling me "it's just a cold, he'll get over it," I went back to the clinic insisting something was wrong, been wrong for a month with no resolution, and begging them to DO something about it

That when the doctor on call immediately realize what was going on tested his oxygen and other levels and gave him a breathing treatment on the spot I listen to what she said even though it cost me being on time for a meeting

That I didn't shirk away from an hour-long breathing treatment every morning and every night, snuggling him to make it easier, even though I was the Chief of Protocol for a 31,000 person Major Command

That once we finally were able to shift away from the hour-long treatments to an inhaler, I didn't blink an eyelash at the $168 a month medicine cost

And that despite the breathing issues, he has such a full athletic and musical life that you would never know all of this happens behind the scenes

When we stop "SHOULD-ING" all over ourselves and, instead, focus on our successes, we can see clearly that we really do have the power to make a difference in our lives